Taking Stock

Pun intended on that title there! It relates to a situation which I was lead into in the last days of 2013 where a lot of my "stock was taken", resulting in me really "taking stock" of where I am at, both as a jewelry crafter and also on my spiritual journey.
It was Christmas eve that the stock was taken, accidentally, by a neighbour's real estate agent when they cleared out my garage, thinking it belonged to my neighbour who had died leaving a deceased estate. It was a tragic mistake, with half of the stock for my Forest Spirit Jewelry work being in there. Not to mention all my tools, furniture and other personal items. I had my creative sanctuary taken away from me. It was heart breaking.
I found out about the loss on Boxing Day, noticing that my key didn't fit the lockto the garage door. It was a shocking moment, not knowing yet what lay behind it. I found out after a few phone calls that the whole garage had been cleared and taken to the landfill of the local garbage dump. My body flooded with grief and sadness. I was shaking and crying; inconsolable. It was such a painful time and it took me about a week to compose myself fully over it. I would wander off into thought and I wouldn't be able to stop the tears. So many beautiful treasures. So much searching to find them all. So many plans for what they were to be used for. So many people who would now not be receiving that special piece that was destined for them. It wasn't just for my own loss that I cried. What I do is my gift of healing to others and it was for them as well that I was crying.
As I came to grips with what had happened I decided to go to the garage and sit there in the emptiness. I sat on the floor, I lay on the ground and cried in the place that had once been so special to me - now it was nothing but a shell - a concrete box. As the crying found its end, I sat up and listened to the birds in the trees outside, smelled the scent of franjipanis from the tree near the door. I took deep breaths and found my peace with the emptiness. So be it. It can't be changed. This has happened and now my challenge is to find the path with the greatest opportunity for growth and expansion.
I began to think about where I was at in life and whether this junction on my path was meant to steer me into some kind of new direction. Was this to be the end of my career with jewelry making? Was it a message from the universe that this was not the path I should be taking right now? It would seem I'd have no choice, at least for a little while. I had long been talking about writing a book, which has still not come to fruition. Each time I look at it I have felt a sinking feeling of inadequacy in not knowing everything I feel should be there, but still, not expressing these ideas plays at my conscience. I know it is something I need to do in this life, and sometimes feel guilty for spending my time in any other way including working on jewelry at times. But the truth is, I had come to a standstill with the subject matter. What I was writing about was Australian Druidry, a subject dear to my heart and one that people seem to know me for these days for having started the Druids Down Under community on facebook. Despite this small fame however, I am no expert in Druidry, nor even really a solid enthusiast: my interests are wide and varied encompassing multiple Pagan traditions, but also Modern Shamanism, Buddhism, Shinto, Sufi and Gnostic traditions. What's more, I also have a deep interest in eco-psychology as well as anything I can get my hands on that has to do with the spirit of the forest - hence the name of my jewelry! I do know a fair bit about Druidry, with having studied it some at university, but in order to write a book about it I felt I should know it in greater detail than I do. I haven't even completed the Bardic level of the OBOD course!
My realisation in that moment was that it didn't matter that I didn't know the details of Druidry. The universe wasn't interested in me writing "about Druidry", it just wanted me to share, and to share what I know, whatever that is called. It was time for a change in direction.
Druidry has been and will continue to be an important structure in my spiritual life. I am inspired by many traditions, but it's Druidry that guides my life the most. The three grades of Bard, Ovate and Druid, as well as the energy of Awen or flowing inspiration, have been very important. The grades of Bard, Ovate until that moment had helped me to shape and direct my learning and experiences. I felt that my time in university was my Bardic training as I learnt to research, memorise, perform and write. When I finished university I ended up falling quite fortuitously and by no real planning into creating Forest Spirit Jewelry. As I was expecting my son's birth within months of finishing uni, I was looking for work that I would be able to do while also caring for him, and it turned out that through facebook I was able to speak to a wonderful community of peopel and share with them my passion for creating these spiritual amulets. It ended up being very rewarding emotionally as well as being able to support us. It was a real blessing. Through it I have realised the shape of my spiritual community and have been able to make amazing connections with the keepers of my pieces. Each piece I feel is created through a link with the energy of the universe; with Awen. It has been a wonderful journey learning about my role as a healer, magician and dare I say, Wise Woman. It has been my Ovate grade in the real world in a very beautiful way.
Each of these stages in my life had lasted about three years. Interestingly, the week before the stock was taken, I had held an initiation ceremony for a friend of mine to begin her Bardic grade. It was exactly six years and two days after my own bardic initiation at Stonehenge some years before. Could it be that it was also a marker of my own movement into the Druid grade? Would the next chapter of my life be marked by leading, teaching, and guiding, exploring ethics and the law and beginning to really share my ideas with the world? It all seemed to come together in that moment. I couldn't help but realise the loss of my stock may involve me learning about the legal system, and considering my ethical values in how to proceed - very Druid-like activities. I felt I had pinpointed my next challenge and its progress was all but inevitable from this point, but how I was to go about it all seemed, and indeed still does seem rather daunting.

Over the next few days after this realisation I was overwhelmed with the generosity of people around me as well as the encouragement of others to continue with my work and not to lose heart. I was given some stones and clay and some powders to start working with again. I was also given a desk and a chair as well as some carpet that I have laid out in the garage now. I have a tiny workable set up that gives me the ability to create again. I felt that there was no need to let go of the jewelry part of my life. When I finished university, my Bardic skills came with me and were used in the Ovate work, helping me to write descriptions of the necklaces. Now, in some new way, I know that my Ovate work will also move into my work as Druid, whatever that comes to be.
The last few months I have certainly been thrown into the deep end with learning about the law and ethics. I have had to spend much of my working days researching my rights and the processes I need to go through to make a claim on the real estate agent, and then when they were fairly uncommunicative, I needed to find out what action to take should I need to take them to court about it. I have never before been one to engage with this sort of thing, but this time, there was too much at stake and to just let it slip would be an injustice not just to myself, but to those who lost out on receiving pieces made from the stones that were lost. I needed to fight this battle for the greater good.
It feels now that I am coming to the end of the battle and that hopefully things will be settled, allowing me to get back to creating more fully, but also to other projects that I am being drawn to, like writing again and teaching but something a little different from Druidry perhaps.... We will see where this road takes me, but I feel it will have a fair bit to do with exploring and sharing what the essence of Forest Spirit is all about.

Made With Love

I often find myself at these points of creative block, and they are often the points at which I feel it necessary to have a ramble on my blog here. What is it that will get me to the next level? What is the inspiration, the theme, the idea that will spur on the next flood of designs in my imagination? How will I get there?
Often I have found a great deal of good comes from taking a step back to just be, spending time in nature, or taking time to read or take photographs. Other things that have helped are looking at art and the inspired work of other craftspeople and artists, expanding my mind by learning new techniques, and spending time with friends on a similar path. These are all useful, all functional, but sometimes they are not quite enough. There is something more to the process that just taking time to have a break or to find inspiration outside of the self. What this is, is love.
I can honestly say I love what I do. I find the challenge of creating something new, something inspiring, something meaningful and spiritual to be the most wonderful blessing I could ever have been given. Being able to channel my creative energy towards the healing, wisdom, strength and magic of others is the most rewarding thing I could ever have hoped to achieve. And what amazing people for whom I am blessed to be able to make these creations: Magicians, Witches, Shamans, Druids, Priestesses and Priests, Wild Men and Women, Healers, Psychics, Goddesses and Gods, and so much more. Each and every person I create for is an amazing being worthy of the love I put into my work, and the more I give, the more I feel I have :-)
Love is an incredible gift. It is the gift which can never be lost in the giving. When we love, we feel love too - we love ourselves in loving. I think each and every person has a duty to find the way that they can share their love with the world, and this can be done in so many ways. Every "job", every role, can have a creative block of sorts - a time when you feel flat and unable to work to the best of your ability - but similarly every job can find inspiration in love.
When I reach a creative block it can be too easy to think that I can't go any further because I have used up all my creativity: "I don't have any more ideas" I might tell myself. But this isn't the case - there are endless possibilities for creativity - what is really missing is the love. Once I remind myself that true creativity and inspiration comes from the heart, often I know just what I need to do. It becomes easy. When I know "all I need is love" I know how to find that, whether it is through having some time to myself, or some time in nature, or some time to learn new skills or something else. What it is at any one time can be forever changing. What I need right now to feel the love might be simply sleep, or to read an inspiring book, or just a cup of tea. Life's simple pleasures are so often the key to finding a love of life.
When I make this realisation I know exactly what I need, and when I do this, my work will flow again with love. And everything I make will be made with love <3 Follow your heart <3

Breaking Out

It's been awhile since I last wrote and I am happy to say that it is because my business has been keeping me very inspired and very busy. I was feeling a little worn out about two months ago though, and felt that I needed a break. Creativity is a funny little beast, as I have spoken about before. As much as I love what I do there are traps in the creative life that can lead us to feel flat if we don't learn to break out of them. It is very easy to fall into ruts of design, recreating similar pieces, or at least staying within tried and tested safety zones for fear of trying something new. In my experience I have found that nothing breaks this state of mind than well.... a break! So taking some time off was exactly what I needed.

I went on a road trip with my family for a couple of weeks, which was great, but mostly it was the break from facebook which gave me the most rest. As much as I love my social media, it can create very addictive mind sets where we find it almost a manic obsession to check.... check.... and check again.... just in case something happened. This nervous energy was not doing my creative streak any good! So a little break from that has helped a great deal.

After my break, in coming back to the creative process, I felt that I could really connect and work with the pieces I made so much better. I took the time to really get to know the stones and symbols I had chosen to work with. I put on incense and peaceful music, I thought deeply about the meaning of the pieces and gave them a good deal more planning than I have in the past. I am proud to say that I have made some really striking pieces in this time apart and the method of how I have done it has worked well for me.

The way I made the break work was to plan ahead to have a sale online where I would sell all the pieces I had made over the break period. One thing that I might do differently in the future, however, is to not make the wait so long! Two months seems like a short amount of time when you're worn out, but you soon realise you can get things together much more quickly once you are feeling inspired again :-) 

I think the sale process is working well though, and I think it is the way of the future for this little creator. I will probably hold them monthly, or possibly even fortnightly, and get a nice rhythm together.

Having my own business is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I truly love the creative process, and learning more about myself, my abilities and my wonderful likers <3

A New World

When I've told people that I have started a jewelry business lately I often get comments about the dire situation supposedly being experienced by retailers across the world. Apparently no one is buying anything anymore. But I'm suspicious. Could it be perhaps that rather than heading out to the local mall where everything is produced en masse in overseas factories and there is little to no imagination or personality about products - especially products like jewelry - people are instead looking for something more unique, and the internet is giving them the opportunity to find it. What's more, the internet is giving people with a unique style of crafting an amazing new way of finding taste specific customers in a global marketplace. It's quite incredible. I make many more sales through my facebook page than I do at the local markets I sometimes sell at - why? I think its because I can reach people who are interested in my product more directly, and through their own interest. There is a lot less chance involved. And it's so great because I don't have to pander to the people who happen upon my product, but I can make exactly what I want to, and then use my existing networks to find the people out there who are looking for someone like me.

Recently I was having a designer's identity crisis, but now I feel much more confident in my product. I've found my niche - at least for now - and it has paid off. I am being true to myself and as my networks on social media reflect a certain kind of personality, this has allowed me to reach the audience I was hoping for. It really couldn't be better - for both me as a new retailer and aspiring designer, as well as the customer seeking out something unique in an otherwise very same same world of consumerism.

What is it that I am offering? Something magickal and spiritual. Crystals and the essence of the forest, nature energies captured in art. Natural designs that evoke a sense of wonder and celebrate the beauty of the world around us. I'm an animist and a nature spiritualist - and I love that I can bring this into my artwork. I am currently working on bringing in a more specifically magickal aspect to the pieces also.... amulets with magickal, and very beautiful sigils on them. Wait and see - you're going to love this :-)

Fickle Inspiration

Inspiration is a funny thing. It's elusive, but when you find it there is sometimes too much to know what to do with. I seem to go through peaks and troughs with it. Some days I find it difficult to drag myself away from my work, even taking it to the dreamworlds with me and coming up with great ideas as I sleep. But other times I have no enthusiasm at all. And on those days, if I try to work on something it comes out really disappointing.
This was one of the reasons I found it difficult to work as a fashion designer full time. Creativity isn't something you can rely on to be there when you need it. It can't be scheduled into a roster or put to work the 9-5. It's fickle and moody, it comes in droughts and floods like Australian weather patterns. It's elusive and mystical.

I'm fairly into nature spirituality and love some of the ideas of neo-Pagan revivals like Druidry. They talk about the idea of "awen" which is the Welsh word for flowing inspiration which helps artists, poets, magicians and great warriors alike to succeed in their ventures. Connecting with awen is like connecting with deity or some divine spark. Creativity is what makes up the magic and life of things. Indeed, the word "inspire" in English even means to have the Spirit within you - to be possessed in a sense. At least that makes it a bit more understandable why it's so hard sometimes! ha ha

Anyway, another reason I like these ideas is because the ideological basis of many of them comes from an appreciation of the magic of nature - nothing less than the Forest Spirit itself. I have been taking some photos recently to try and budge a creativity block I have been having the last couple of days.

The incredible simplicity and beauty of nature is so amazing. It doesn't have to THINK about how to be beautiful - it just is because it is filled with life. That's the kind of beauty I am hoping to encapsulate with my work. Hopefully I will be able to find my inspiration again soon

Cavandoli Knotwork

As I have said, I was really inspired by macrame when I went to Argentina a couple of years ago. I went with a half-Brazillian friend of mine, Tanya, and we were both really inspired by the work we saw in Patagonia. She now lives in Rio De Janeiro and makes lovely work with macrame and crystals.

Me and Tanya

Recently she was visiting in Sydney and gave me a wonderful gift - she sold me a load of her macrame thread, which I was having so much trouble finding here in Australia, and she also lent me a DVD by Joan Babcock on Macrame and Cavandoli Knotwork. It was awesome. I learned a great deal that I have been able to add into my own work. I got to experimenting, and yesterday I finished a piece I have been working on for days! It took a really long time to make, so I'm not sure if I will be willing to part with it. But it taught me a lot about what can be achieved if you put your mind to it.

Cavandoli Knotwork necklace - not for sale

Getting inspired for design is a funny thing. Sometimes you have a good idea of what it is you want to acheive, and you just go and make it. But that's not usually the time when things work out the best. More often, it's the times when you don't know what is going to happen, but you have an image of the FEELING of the piece, that is more strong - that is when you do something good, something inspired.

I'm enjoying the process of finding out how to be inspired again. After working for a few years in fashion design, about eight years ago, I became really jaded. I was working for a swimwear company full time and by the end of my time there I felt like I had no creativity left in my soul. It took a long time for me to find it again, and to approach it with a more healthy attitude. When I was a designer full time there was an imense pressure to perform, to be creative every minute of every day. It just doesn't work like that. It's a more spiritual and organic process. You can't schedule it in - you have to make your world inviting enough that it might visit you. Art doesn't have an appointment book! It's a free spirit! I feel like I'm doing a better job of things this time around. Though there are pot holes I need to try and avoid if I can:

1) Don't do it for money over love. You have to love what you design. Don't design for dollars.
2) Be inspired, but don't copy. All too many designers fall into the trap of copying when they have a design block.
3) Don't be afraid to mess it up. Sometimes your best work will come out of a risk you take.
4) Try different things, but don't slip away from who you are and what you want out of your label. Be true to yourself.
5) Keep going. The best designs often come when you persist with something. It might not be working just right now, but if you keep at it, you will create something amazing.
6) Don't overthink it. Feel it instead. Don't have "too many mind" like in the last Samurai ;-) Find your chi, your flow.

Hopefully I can keep this advise to myself in mind :-)

Fimo Forest

Well, after my little ramble this morning I was feeling a bit more inspired to get what I want out of my materials and I came up with a cute little range of pendants using stones with leaf and crystal inserts. They are really cool and go really well with macrame. I have been thinking about doing other accessories to go with them too. This could be a turning point in my designs. It feels much more... together. Here are some of the pendants:

They actually remind me a lot of the work that I saw when I was in South America. I was really inspired by the markets in the Patagonia region of Argentina when I went there a couple of years ago. They used a lot of clays (though mostly epoxy resins - which aren't very good for you to work with), along with wood carving, metal work and loads of macrame. I really love macrame and am so happy that I can bring it back into my designs.

Today was a good day :-)